Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Evil Rude Dog Catcher

This is a true story.

Paint a mental picture of this. Large public park, not one person in the park, about 4 or 5 inches of fresh snow on the ground. I let my doggie off the leash to enjoy running around and playing in the snow. He is in heaven.

Arrogant, rude dog catcher is stalking the park. She suddenly appears. I put my dog back on the leash and walk over to her. When I get right to her she yells at me in a very abusive voice, “Why are you walking your dog off the leash? He could bite someone!!!!!!”

I direct her to look around the park and point out to her that there are no children, no disabled elderly ladies, in fact no one at all in the park. She yells at me again telling me that she doesn’t have to look around if she doesn’t want to. I tell her that it appears far more likely she will bite someone than that my dog will bite someone. I look her right in the eye and tell her that she is a rude minimum wage clerk who is wearing a shiny badge and is on one major power trip.

She checks my dog’s rabies tag, which is of course up to date. She harshly demands my ID so that she can call me in to see if I am a bad guy with lots of warrants outstanding. After waiting for 10 minutes in the cold wind she is disappointed to find out that I am not a criminal.

So she issues me three citations: Dog off the leash, performing the forgoing heinous crime in a public park, dog taking an enormous dump.

I admit that he was off the leash, but with plastic bag in hand I ask her to show me the evidence that he did actually have a bowel movement. This causes her to yell abusive remarks at me again. Naturally she refuses to show me the dog crap. I look all around but can’t find any feces, either old and cold, or nice and new and warm.

I ask her if she knows how much the fine is for letting your dog shit in the park. She claims ignorance. In fact she is indeed a rather ignorant person, but she knows very well how much the fine is going to be.

In parting I wish her “Good luck in your dog killing.”

Twenty minutes later I am at the police station paying the ticket. Various other hardened criminals like myself are waiting in line to pay. Total fine is $305-. I pay the ticket with hundred dollar bills.

Rude, poorly paid government employees like this who are permitted to exercise their insulting power trips are part of what makes the right wingers say that government is the problem.

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