Serenity
The following quote came in today from an American friend of mine who lives in Venice, Italy:
Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations.
But then my “rights” try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional equilibrium?” And when I place more value on my serenity than on anything else, I can maintain at a higher level—at least for the time being.
Lowering one's expectations to a somewhat more realistic and reasonable level certainly makes sense when it comes to one's spouse or one's job. Unrealistic expectations cause tremendous grief.
I have a little more trouble with the second paragraph which involves lowering one's expectation of human rights. I guess one has to sort out what rights are worth fighting for and which “rights” are totally unrealistic. But there are some basic human rights which are well worth fighting for, even if it somewhat upsets one's serenity level.
Only focusing on your level of serenity is missing an important part of the picture of what being a complete human being is. I have never experienced heroin but I suppose that massive doses of opiates induce a sense of serenity also. Alcoholism or tranquilizers initially apparently do the same thing.
There are times when one has to make difficult choices which will help mankind, or one's family or friends, but which might upset one's serenity or even result in one's own demise. If one primarily focuses on one's own happiness or serenity it becomes easy to ignore injustice, discrimination, or other serious evils like right wing extremism.
The narcissistic person is only concerned about their own happiness. What makes humans superior to other animals is our compassion, our kindness, and caring for others. Our ability to help others even when doing so might harm ourselves.
Yes, serenity is important. But it is not the ultimate value.
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