Monday, January 19, 2009

American Presidents

The earliest president I can remember is Dwight D. Eisenhower. He was born in Denison, Texas as the third of seven sons. He graduated from Westpoint. He had been a real powerful man even before becoming president. A five-star general in the United States Army. During the Second World War, he had served as Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe, so he was regarded as a war hero from WWII.

Even with all the power he was not corrupted. He had very successfully retained his dignity and the feeling of being one of us. A common man. Ike was a very decent man with a plain looking but very decent wife. Here was the most powerful politician in the land warning the American people to beware of the growing strength of the “military industrial complex.” Eisenhower was well liked. My little brother was named after him. He was an honest, hard working guy who had made a success of his life.

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John F. Kennedy was magical. In many ways he was much like Obama. An inspirational figure who wasn’t just out for the rich. Camelot and all of that. He also was a war hero and his wife Jackie (Jacqueline Bouvier) was a genuine beauty queen. Both were from the “upper crust.” JFK’s father had made his money illegally during prohibition, but that was easily forgiven. The fact that he was a Catholic and might have the follow the orders of the Pope in Rome was harder for the American people to accept. They finally did though. Of course this idea was complete hogwash, but the American people didn’t realize it at first.

No one realized that he had some serious issues with abuse of prescription drugs because of his WWII back injury. It also was successfully kept quiet that he was friends with the Mafia, using their help to procure women for him (like Marilyn Monroe) and maybe even getting them to try and assassinate Fidel Castro in Cuba.

Here was a guy who cared about things like civil rights. A prince. And people had no idea that the little unrest over in French Indochina would turn into the nation-busting Vietnam War.

JFK was idolized, and when he was killed in Dallas the American people felt sort of like on 911. Maybe the Ruskies did this. Maybe the country is under attack. I remember being sent home from school, and not just because of respect for JFK. It was also very much the idea, if this is the end then the kids need to be at home with their families.

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Lyndon B. Johnson was the vice president when Kennedy was killed, so he automatically became president. He was more successful at getting legislation passed than any president in my lifetime. He talked like a hick, but you can’t have everything.

LBJ got the strongest civil rights legislation passed of any president ever. He tried to solve poverty with the great society program. Overall he would have been well remembered except for one little issue. The Vietnam War.

The Gulf of Tonkin incident never happened. It was just various people in the government trying to kiss LBJ’s ass and please him. Sort of like Sadam’s weapons of mass destruction in Iraq under Bush II.

The biggest and most violent protests in the nation’s history took place because the youth of America wanted the Vietnam War ended. Right now. But LBJ was determined to win. Of course at the end the U.S.A. lost it's ass, and we had to retreat with our tail between our legs.

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Richard Nixon was really smart. But he was a weirdo. No friends. The kind of guy who didn’t ever drive hot rod cars, go out drinking or chase women with bad intentions in mind when he was young. He was a dishonest and crafty crook. A lawyer with no regard for truth and justice, just winning at all costs. I hated him back then and I still do today.

Instead of just allowing him to resign and sending him back to California, the son of a bitch should have been hung. Literally. The impeachment process should have continued, and he should have received the death penalty for treason.

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Gerald Ford was a good guy. Pleasant. Lots of dignity. Honest. An ex-football player who was a bit of a clutz. Fell down snow skiing, etc.

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Jimmy Carter was another guy who had never chased pussy or gotten drunk as a young man. A very devout Christian. He cared about all the right things, but he was incompetent as a leader.

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Ronald Reagan was an actor. He could read his lines well. Not a very bright man, but he had worked hard and was well known and a big success long before becoming president.

He is the one who started this now discredited right wing malarkey of trickle down economics, deregulation, etc. But he made us feel good about ourselves and our country.

I called him Ray Guns back then, but when he turned on that voice he could lead you right off the cliff. A good leader but unfortunately not at all smart. He got dememtia. Lots would say that he sort of already was afflicted when he was president.

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George Bush the First had a real high pitched voice. He talked like some kind of wimpy faggot, but his wife Barbara was a real sweet, grey haired, old fat lady. Bush I had been fairly successful in his own right, having been head of the Republican national committee, Ambassador to the United Nations, and head of the CIA before becoming president.

He was smart, just had no idea at all what normal working class people were going through. He was clearly through-and-through a member of the Eastern Establishment. He was the son of a rich and famous senator.

Papa Bush said to the American people when he was in an arrogant, foul mood one day, “Read my lips. No new taxes.” And then the dishonest dumb-ass implemented new taxes. So he didn’t get elected to a second term.

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William Jefferson Clinton was a lawyer who was married to a lawyer. They had one child. Clinton was raised by a working class single mother in Arkansas, and he later became a Rhodes Scholar. He smoked dope during the Vietnam era and chased lots of pussy. His big problem was that he never grew out of the era of chasing women. Maybe a shrink would say that he was some kind of a sex addict. He even got involved with some horny, fat young intern who worked in the White House.

He was dishonest. Slick Willy. The kind of guy who you would buy a used car from but later would regret it. He abused his power as an elected official to get women and to get rich.

He and Hillary had very good ideas about universal healthcare and civil rights, but they were hopelessly incompetent at getting their ideas implemented. Basically an insecure loser posing as Mr. Big Man On Campus. He managed to avoid doing any military service during the Vietnam war.

The rest of the world loved and still loves Bill Clinton. Americans really understood the guy, and they sort of tolerated him. He certainly was never "respected" or thought of as a leader and role model by the American people.

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George W. Bush tried to get into Law School at the University of Texas but was not accepted. He later graduated from Yale and got an MBA from Harvard. Positive proof that you don't need to be smart or hardworking to graduate from these two Ivy League schools. He got out of serving in Vietnam because his daddy was rich and powerful. He flew fighters in the National Guard (when he showed up for work sober).

He worked out and was in good physical shape. He tried recreational drugs when he was younger, but no longer even drank alcohol. He was a Republican who believed that business should be allowed to make money without any pesky government interference. In other words he embodied many of the most deeply held beliefs of lots of Yuppies.

But George Bush II spoke with the accent of a hick from Midland, Texas. So did his wife, as did their two a little bit wild and probably sluttish daughters. No one wanted to think of the first family as trailer park trash, but it was a nagging thought in the back of everyone’s mind. George Junior was a little rich kid who had a powerful daddy. But he was a loser who had never been successful at much of anything except choosing a famous father. At one time some rich friends of his father arranged for him to own and manage a baseball team. He ran it right into the ground.

Bush didn’t read. Didn’t read books, didn’t read briefing materials.-- Just a total fucking loser. The reason that this wanker was elected for a second term was because the Democrats ran an equally unattractive candidate against him, and also because Bush Jr. just happened to be president on watch when the Muslims knocked down the World Trade Center on 911. He didn’t care one bit about civil rights or the U.S. constitution. He and his vice president Dick Cheney authorized the use of torture. They did it a lot. Cheney seemed to get off on it. The country had a bush and a dick in charge. But not a brain.

Bush the Second got the country into a horrible and completely unnecessary war in Iraq that killed thousands of people and almost bankrupted America. And his economic ideas of deregulation destroyed the country’s financial system and shortly thereafter the real economy too.-- This threw the country into the worst recession/depression since the 1930’s.

Baby Bush is the most disliked and biggest loser of a president since Richard Milhouse Nixon. The entire country is heaving one big collective sigh of relief to see this fuckwad finally leaving Washington. As expected, he chose to move to the city where JFK was killed.

Good riddance you misearable asshole.
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