Say What?
Surely I must now be approaching the end stage of this leukemia (CLL). I was first diagnosed eight years ago, and most of this time has been almost normal. Recently I have developed all sorts of interesting symptoms. The lymph nodes on my neck, under my arms, and in my groin area have grown hard and are very large indeed. Some of them are rather painful too.
The body's immune system is not working well, so I come down with things easily. Hand washing and hygiene have become critical. And then it takes me a long time to get well. Tooth decay is a surprisingly major problem, even with tooth brushing several times per day.
When I get a small cut, the blood is not deep red any more. It is very thin looking and takes a long time to clot. The latest blood test confirms that my hemoglobin and red blood cell count are well below normal minimum levels, as are the platelets.
I am seeing rapid muscle degeneration. When I look at my arms or legs now I see masses of wrinkly old geezer skin that used to be filled with muscle tissue. I have gotten so weak that sometimes it surprises me what I am no longer capable of.
I cannot walk (even really super slowly) more than about 30 meters before I have to stop and rest. Close to zero stamina. Recently I have gotten very unsure on my feet. Often I look like I am horribly drunk because of it. Stumbling around like some sad old alcoholic. Who would guess that I don't drink any alcohol at all, and that I don't smoke pot or cigarettes. Haven't had any of these vices in many years.
The most recent surprise is that I have gotten very hard of hearing. Not quite deaf, but pretty close to it. I now have to turn the volume all the way up on my TV at night, and I really prefer to watch DVDs because they have subtitles. Thank heavens my little doggie has figured out my newly acquired deafness. So he has begun barking vigorously when the door bell rings. He never did this before.
I was thinking of looking on the internet and having a baseball cap or a Tee-shirt made up which says something like, SPEAK LOUD, I AM HARD OF HEARING. But my perception is that most of us have this hidden bias, thinking that people who do not hear well are also a bit stupid. So I guess I'll just continue saying, “Say Again?” while cupping my ear to indicate that I did not hear them. A lot of what many people say is just inane crap anyway. But sometimes it is important to be able to understand what other people are saying.
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