Michael Dwight Garland
Mike’s birthday October 8 is coming up this Sunday. Then after that in just another few months on January 17 it will be 10 years since he died.
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Michael Dwight Garland was born in 1952 and was named after Dwight D. Eisenhower.
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In my opinion Mike was the most physically attractive of the 3 siblings. He played tennis. He was charming and he had friends. And really fine, good looking girls from wealthy families were attracted to him and liked him, a lot.
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For sure with an honours degree in Electrical Engineering from UTEP he had the best degree of any of us.
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I guess sometime in the last year before he died we were talking on the phone. He let me know that he was still angry at me because he felt that Daddy loved me more than him. He was still hurting over it. This really kind of took me aback. I told him that I sort of felt the same way in reverse, that he and Daddy had enjoyed watching football together. Since I have always been sort of a nerd, and I didn’t enjoy American football. So I guess I was a little jealous of Mike’s relationship with Daddy in these American Male things.
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What events stick out in my memories? When Mike got that tumour on his ass. He hid it from everyone. He kept getting in trouble at school for wearing his shirt tail out, and still he wouldn’t admit to anyone that he did it to hide the large cancerous growth on his butt.
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When he was in Hotel Dieu Hospital having it removed I remember Mother being worried
because the Doctor had told her that they might need to remove part of Mike’s hip too. I can remember taking the bus downtown after school to visit Mike in the hospital.-
I also remember the time he got arrested for shoplifting. Some Old Spice aftershave. He didn’t have any money but wanted to give Daddy a Father’s Day present. Heartbreaking really. I was such an asshole. I felt that it would be best for Mike for them to be tough. Fortunately Frances and Daddy were wiser than I was. One of Daddy’s childhood friends was now a lawyer and a judge. He got Mike off.
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For a while he wandered around and was sort of lost. Living up in Lake Tajoe and working as a fry cook in the restaurant of a gambling casino. During a leave I took from the Army Frances and I drove her black 1971 Ford with the 429 V8 up to visit Mike, pulling her 28 foot Airstream trailer. One of his friends was this really sweet, nice girl. She would disappear for a few months at a time (to go work as a prostitute). Mike could accept this. This was pre-AIDS, but even so I had a difficult time dealing with this. I really admired Mike’s open mindedness.
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I remember when he came back to El Paso that he worked once again as a cook. This time in the Taco Bell on Montana near the Hill Top Oasis. He seemed to deal with it just fine and didn’t find the work demeaning. Or at least that is the way it looked to me. I guess that wasn’t much lower in status than working at Radio Shack in Bassett Center like I was, but it seemed like it to me.
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After graduating from UTEP Mike first went to work for El Paso Electric, then later at TI in Dallas. He had always liked Dallas. He named his cat Dallas, he and Daddy really enjoyed watching and rooting for the Dallas Cowboys on TV, and he was real interested in the killing of President Kennedy in Dallas.
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Just before I moved to Europe I visited Mike in Dallas. He was still working at TI. He was living in a pretty nice apartment. But he sure didn’t own many “things.” No big stereo, no record collection. Not a lot of books, in fact not much at all. I remember thinking how wise Mike was not to burden himself with a lot of material possessions and junk like I tend to do. It was only after his death that I learned the disturbing truth. Mike spent most of his money on drugs legal and otherwise. And when he ran out of money he took all the money out of his retirement savings, then began maxing out his credit cards to keep this terrible druggie lifestyle going.
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Mike loved the Hobbit, Tolkien and the Trilogy. And Stranger In A Strange Land by Heinlein. He turned me onto the music of Ray Lynch (No Blue Thing) and Outback (Dance The Devil Away). Mike was a good computer programmer. He was smart as hell. Good at math too. And still fun to be with and charming. What an amazing combination.
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Mike wanted more out of life though. He left his good, stable job at Texas Instruments to pursue the dream of getting rich. Being an owner and being part of building the next Microsoft. It didn’t work out, and it basically broke him. Emotionally, financially, and physically.
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By this time Mike was horribly addicted to prescription medication of all different sorts. And it all started at UTEP with Dr. Raymond Showery over-prescribing muscle relaxers for Mike’s stiff neck.
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I remember a phone conversation Mike and I had about my son. It was one of the few times that Mike and I ever talked really harshly to each other. I felt Mike was encouraging my only child to use hard drugs. I was worried that Ben would get addicted to drugs and ruin his life. In a really hard and mean voice Mike told me, “He already is.” That hurt. Really bad. I still cringe hearing Mike’s tone of voice in my memories. Momentarily it felt like Mike was consumed with intense hatred.
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And I remember the night that the phone rang. All Frances said was, “He’s Dead.” That’s all she could say. I knew exactly what she meant. Mike was only in his mid-40’s. What a waste.
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Its now ten years later I’m really still not yet fully recovered from the trauma of Mike dying so young and so completely pointlessly. Frances is dead too. Things sure have changed. I’m now divorced, old, semi-retired and have a grey beard. And Leukemia. I no longer make well over $150,000- per year. In fact at the moment I have absolutely zero income.
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I’ve done some amazing things in my life, still Mike and his death are right up there among the very most significant events of my entire life.
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Thank heavens for Lisa Escaloni and Eddie Anderson. With their immense help all of us survivors made it through. Their friendship for Mike was really unbelievable.
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